Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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