just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
