May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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