i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize