going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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