Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
