Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She needs sedatives and a leash
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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