One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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