I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
