I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
