i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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