then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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