She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
