she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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