turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize