He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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