he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
whose ass print is on the piano?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
