Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
