do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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