he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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