dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
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We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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