Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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