Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
