Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
