We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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