oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize