I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
