I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
