No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
