I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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