new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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