Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
