I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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