I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So vagazzling was a success
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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