just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
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I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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