I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
