I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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