my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
