maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
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Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
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you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize