sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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