Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
