Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
