I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I need to calm my uterus...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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