So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
