I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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