Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
