No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
