He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
