You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
What a dumb baby whore.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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