The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
