you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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