Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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