My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
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We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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