his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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