its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
