It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
