You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
