Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
