so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
