Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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