Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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