So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
