just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think I won the penis lottery.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
