Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
