and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
