I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm too high and old for this...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
