Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
