I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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