Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
