the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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