Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
