i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
