After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
