what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
