Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want to have your abortion
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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