His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
